No Humping Allowed
by Raven-2010
Summary: Inuyasha is Sesshoumaru & Taisho Corps biggest pain he replaces no smoking allowed signs with no humping allowed signs amoung other things. Kag & other women get twisted revenge, one of his switches leads to a shocking surprise. Comedy romance Miroku/Kag


**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do, Rated R**

Inuyasha is Sesshoumaru, and Taisho Corps biggest pain, he replaces the no smoking allowed signs, with no humping allowed signs among other things. And people wonder why Sesshy is homicidal, but this time Inu's switch leads to an unexpected turn of events. **A/N **some readers wanted more so I added more to the story Dec 17 2011, fic now begins with 2 new chaps, lol thanks. Written for **Stubbendick26. **Miroku/Kagome

**No Humping Allowed**

**By Raven 2010, Dec 12 2011**

**Sesshoumaru's surprise, Inuyasha's doom **

Sesshoumaru was sitting at his desk in his office, he was very much looking forward to indulging in his favorite thing vanilla cake with cream frosting. He loved to eat it with a knife and fork something Inuyasha mercilessly ragged him about. Sesshoumaru put his fork into the big piece of cake and felt something hard curious he used the knife and fork to pull the cake apart, the second he did he was squirted in the face with cranberry juice from a fake penis that drenched him from head to chest, his eyes reddened with rage

"Inuyashaaaaaaaaa" he bellowed

"Oh for god's sake, what did you do to him now?" Kagura asked

"Nothin honey" Inuyasha joked

"Nothing honey my sweet ass"

"I'll tap that sweet ass if you want" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Not to worry fool you will not be tapping any ass because Sessh is going to kill you for real this time for sure" Bankotsu needled

"As if, lord fluffy cakes isn't gonna do shit, he's all mouth and no action" the cocky lounging hanyou replied

"Inubaka you are truly a ninety day wonder" Sango insulted

"Ninety day wonder?

"Yeah, we wonder how you last so long" Miroku said

"Ah go play on the freeway during rush hour" Inuyasha replied

"Idiot" Kagome added

Bang was heard when Sesshoumaru's office door flew open "You stinking mutt" he said sounding much like Kouga "I will gut you, that is the most disgusting thing you've ever done" he snapped

"Damn, what did you do this time, Dog breath?" Kouga asked

Sesshoumaru said not one more word, in a flash he had Inuyasha by the neck, dove out the window, and flew off like a bat out of hell "Oh shit I think maybe the cops will be finding Inu's dead body this time" Sango stated

"Let's go look in Sesshoumaru's office" Kagome suggested, they all filed into his office, and saw what was on the desk

"Shit the mutt really went to far this time" Kouga said "That's Sessh's favorite cake to"

"Man that is past nasty" Ayame commented

"Now that's fucked up" Kagome commented

"Shit I can't wait to find out what Sessh did to rat lips" Kagura exclaimed, I've got an idea" Hey Kouga do you still keep that compact camcorder in your desk?

"Yup, you evil broad I love you" Kouga replied, then handed her the camcorder

"Aw thanks my sweet wolfy, be back later with the event on film" she promised

Half an hour passed then Sesshoumaru returned smiling evilly

**"**_**Merry Christmas to me, merry Christmas to me**_

_**Though it's a month early merry Christmas to me" **_he happily sang

Kagura returned five minutes after him smiling with the camcorder in hand "Oh shit, why do I get the feeling this is going to be epic?" Kagome asked

"Oh baby is it ever" Kagura answered

"Ooo, ooo I'll set up the TV in the lounge so we can all watch it" Jakotsu offered, ran and did

Jakotsu took the camera bolted to the staff lounge, and immediately hooked it up to the Tv, after they were all seated, Jakotsu sat down and pushed play with the remote control. What they saw next had them rolling in laughter there was Inuyasha at the city dump buried up to his neck in the nastiest pile of trash there was. Discarded food, paint, and various other things, but worst of all were the soiled baby diapers

"Oh my gods all hail Sesshoumaru king of revenge, and the most epic revenge pranks" Miroku exclaimed

"Well now mutt face can truly say payback is a bitch, and that he personally met her. Hehehe" Kouga joked

"Amen to that" Ayame said

The following day

Inuyasha came into work acting as if nothing had happened not knowing that Sesshoumaru's masterpiece was on video "Hey poo, poo Yasha" change your dirty diapers? Miroku needled

"Multiple paint colors are beautiful" don't you think" Kouga ragged the reddening by the minute hanyou

"How was that spaghetti? Dining out? Ayame teased

"Damn and he didn't even invite us" Sango added

"Oh fuck" Inuyasha exclaimed

"Paybacks a bitch, so tell us" what was it like meeting her? Kagura razzed

"I don't know what you know. Leave me alone I am not saying a word" Inuyasha exclaimed

Smugly Inuyasha walked over to his desk, and sat down the second his butt touched it simultaneously his favorite high back office chair collapsed and separated in a million pieces, his desk did the same. The fuming hanyou was scheming murder that of his brother, as his co workers and friends sat watching him they quietly waited for the shit to hit the fan. Yes Sesshoumaru lived by a policy play three jokes on the practical joker for every one the prankster played on him

"Sesshoumaruuuuu, you butt munch, I am going to kill you" Inuyasha bellowed

"You called little flea" wearing a smirk Sesshoumaru answered

"Yes you low life rotten soon to be wearing your ass as a garter belt prick"

"Seems your vocabulary, and vocal skills are very limited. A five year old has far more skills then you" Sesshoumaru insulted

"Says the over educated, stick up his ass, egotistical, self centered baboon" Inuyasha retorted

"Thank you, better to be those things then to be you fool"

"Ooo, I hate you" Inuyasha griped "You ruined my desk and chair"

"Yes after you ruined my favorite suit, and my favorite cake with your disgusting so called joke"

"You are such an ass face" Inuyasha insulted

"No he's dreamy" all the women said in unison

"Damn wenches, ya look at lord fluffykins and get wet panties" Inuyasha ragged

"Oh Sesshy" Sango, and the other females said in dreamy voices to bug Inuyasha

"Ah shut up, be a good girl and go paint your nails" Bankotsuu teased

**Sprinkles, Inuyasha's happiness, switched, a brotherly gift**

Inuyasha had a revenge plot of his own, Sesshoumaru had to go to a corporate meeting, he left and would not be back for an hour, Inuyasha sneaked into his office and went to work, when done the grinning sadistically hanyou left. An hour later weary Sesshoumaru came back, he went into his office the second he was near his desk he was drenched by the fire sprinkler system. It stayed to quiet in Sesshoumaru's office

"Oh little brother? Sesshoumaru asked

"You called Sesshy buns" Inuyasha taunted

"Come into my office mister Taisho"

"Uh oh" Kagura exclaimed

"Mister Taisho he called you, that's new he never did that before" Ayame said

"Shit that is really bad" Miroku stated

"He never calls you that, Yash I think today id the day you die" Kouga told him

"I ain't going in there, later losers" Inuyasha exclaimed, and took off like his ass was on fire

Sesshoumaru came out "Fled the scene I see, coward"

The next morning

"Sickoyasha strikes again, don't know what he did but knowing him it's warped" Kagome commented

Sesshoumaru went to enter his office only something was different, instead of Sesshoumaru Taisho written on his office door it said Sessblowmaru Taishasso. Sesshoumaru's mind immediately went into kill mode, now all he had to do was come up with something absolutely evil. He had a positively wicked idea, now to wait for the opportunity to present itself, he mentally laughed his ass off

Later on seeing that nothing was happening cocky smug Inuyasha came out "Guess lord muffy learned not to screw with me. That'll teach him, hehehe" Inuyasha gloated

"Inuyasha if you had half a brain in that head of yours you'd run hide and pray that Sesshoumaru does not find you" Kagome told him

"Yeah Yash she's right, he's being to quiet and non responsive to it" Miroku reminded

"Oh please he would have done something by now" Inuyasha cockily stated

Inuyasha went to his office instead of Inuyasha Taisho written on the door it said Inubushdiver Taisholicksass "Sesshoumaru you sick son of a bitch"

"What is it, little brother?"

"You know gods damn well what you , you nasty prick"

"Yes I to have a prick, but not a small one such as yourself" Sesshoumaru casually remarked

"Ooo" Kouga, Jakotsu, Bankotsu, and Miroku exclaimed

Inuyasha went to lunge for Sesshoumaru but before he could get one finger near his brother two large burly men grabbed and held him, he snapped at them to let go they only tightened their grip. Inuyasha looked them over real good and that is when he saw their uniforms animal control. The office filled full of laughter accompanied by applause, Inuyasha glared daggers at his coworkers along with a look that promised retribution

"Assholes" do I look like a fucking stray dog? Inuyasha bit

"Yup a big one" one of the men said

"You two morons must smoke lots of crack" Inuyasha insulted

"Obviously not as much as you" one of the animal control officers answered

"Alright gentlemen you may take him away" Sesshoumaru said

"Woof, woof" his coworkers barked to taunt him as he was taken away

"Bastaaaaards" Inuyasha yelled back at them

When Inuyasha opened his beautiful golden eyes his heart nearly stopped, the poor thing found himself in a cage at the zoo with two tigers. He gulped, and cringed as images of the big cats eating him ran through his mind, he had to find a way out and escape and he knew it. Then he'd find a way to get even with or kill his big brother, he waited until feeding time once the tigers were to busy eating their meat to notice him he used his demon strength bent the bars on one side, slipped out, pushed the bars back in place, and ran like hell to his job intent on killing his brother

"Doesn't that fool ever learn? He knows for every one prank he plays on Sessh, Sessh is going to play three on him" Miroku said

"Case in point switching the sign on his office door, animal control, and the zoo" Sango stated

"What can I say, the boy is a self torturing sadist?" Kouga exclaimed with a smirk

**Switching signs, feminine revenge, dining room surprise**

In each bathroom there were signs that said please remember to wash your hands, however when Kouga saw the new sign it instead said please forget to wash your hands, knowing right away who did it a smirk covered his face "Mutt face strikes again. Man if Sessh doesn't kill before the week is out it'll be a miracle" Kouga said

Then the bathroom stall door opened "Yeah and if you don't get chafed hands from playing roll the log that alone will be a miracle" Inuyasha needled

"You'd be rolling one to if you had one" Kouga shot back

"Having a verbal bitch slapping contest are we boys?" entering Bankotsu teased

"Damn and neither of you bitches thought to invite me" Jakotsu who was behind Bankotsu said, and let the door close behind him

The door closed, and then a few seconds later opened again "No sword fighting in the bathroom gentlemen" Miroku who had just entered added

"Hey my sword is in his pants minding own business" Bankotsu wisecracked

"Oh will you broads keep it down already?" Kagura's voice rang

"What the fuck, Kagura what the hell are you doing in here, this is the men's room, unless you forgot how to read?" Inuyasha said

"One the frigging ladies is backed up with wall to wall beavers, two I couldn't hold it, and three you boys do not have anything I haven't seen before" Kagura answered from inside the stall she was in

"Wall to wall beavers" Inuyasha queried

"Yup, beaver, cootchy, pussy the same thing" smiling Miroku explained

"Figures the resident perv would know that" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Please I'm gay and even I know that" Jakotsu told him

"Constant log rolling caused brain damage" Kouga needled

"Jeez get one of those rubber girl dolls it'd be way easier" Bankotsu teased

"Screw you Sarakotsu" Inuyasha retorted "Why don't you go flush your twig down the toilet, and buy a replacement?

"Jak honey? Kagura called while washing her hands

"Yes? Jakotsu answered

"Take a look at the sign Yashies at it again"

Jakotsu looked and read "Please forget to wash your hands gross"

"I know, Right?" Kagura exclaimed

A sudden scream broke the silence "Inuyasha about to die Taishooooo" Kagome's rage filled scream echoed

"Aw jeez dog butt what the hell did you do now? Kouga asked, no answer

"Yashie talk or die, and you've got two seconds to start darling before I kill you" Kagura informed her hanyou buddy

"Ah, forget about escaping" Bankotsu said as he planted his tall frame in front of the door

"Well spaz spill it" Miroku told him

Inuyasha was about to tell when the men's room door was pushed so hard it pushed Bankotsu aside, and someone stepped in "Sit" crash "Inuyasha this is it, this time you went to far" Kagome snapped\

"W, what are you talking about Ka-go-me" Inuyasha answered feigning innocence

"This you brainless simp" she replied "I try to buy a Tampon from the ladies room machine and get this instead" she snapped

With curious eyes the other room occupants eyed the object hanging from her index finger "A jock strap, you replaced Tampons with jock straps?" Miroku questioned "And you call me perverted, even I am not that low"

"I swear the boy plots this shit awake and asleep" Jakotsu commented

"Shit if he were in a coma mutt face would scheme sick shit to do" Kouga added

"What, it wasn't easy ya know, do you know how long it took, it took me two hours to roll those damn things into tube size to fit into the dispenser" Inuyasha said "A thank you would be nice, but no all I get is abuse"

"Is that so, well maybe I should?" Kagome started but was cut off

"Inuyashaaaaaaa" Ayame screamed

"Taisho" Sango bellowed

"Kags let me guess, you guys are in that monthly condition at the same time?' Bankotsu asked

"A hah" Kagome responded

"Ooooo, you dummy" the others exclaimed at the same time

The door burst open "You little prick" Ayame screeched

"Hey my pecker is not small wench" Inuyasha defended

"You're about to die and all your worried about is dick size" Miroku said

"Un freaking believable" Kouga exclaimed

"You won't need your hotdog when your dead anyway" Bankutsu ragged

Sango stepped in "I try to get a Kotex pad and get this" Sango yelled while holding a mans sports cup

"What, you wanted protection now you g, got it" Laughing Inuyasha replied

"Yeah ass hat and if I wanted a jock strap that bad all I'd have to do is raid the men's locker room" Ayame bit "That's it I say we kill him"

"Girls I have a better idea" Kagura the voice of reason spoke

"Yesssss" Kagome, Sango, and Ayame replied

"Well fellas I think it's time we take our leave" Miroku stated

"Do not worry Yash I'll cover for you I will tell Sesshoumaru that you're tied up in meetings" Bankotsu said

"Oh he's about to be tied up alright" Kagome spat

"Hey you rats you can't just up and abandon me like that" Inuyasha protested

"We can, we are, and will" don't you know, it is common knowledge to every male never mess with a female during that time of the month? bye, bye" Kouga answered, and he along with the other males beat a hasty retreat

"Now that we're all alone" smiling evilly Sango said

"Eek, gulp" Inuyasha exclaimed

"Nooooooo" the other males heard Inuyasha shriek

Inuyasha was missing for a better part of the day, however when the staff arrived in the dining room they got the shock of their lives. In the corner in hot pink stiletto heels tied up in a standing position was Inuyasha wearing only a canary yellow lace bra and matching panties with a red rose over the crotch. Dangling from his ears was a Tampon on each ear, around his mid section like a belt was a men's sports cup, his claws were painted hot pink, and his face was makeup mascara hot pink eye shadow and lipstick, Kagura was taking pictures

"Hehehe d, dog breath you never looked lovelier" Kouga gasped

"Wow he does make one hot looking little bitch indeed" Miroku teased "And has child bearing hips"

"Mirkoku so help me when I'm free you will be minus your manhood" Inuyasha promised

"Wow Yashie you didn't have to get all dressed up for me I like you the way you are" Jakotsu ragged

"My eyes, my eyes, quick somebody take pity on me and burn them out. I'm scarred for life" feigning horror Bankotsu added with his hands over his eyes

"_**He's so pretty, oh so pretty witty and divine and if he is a good girl boy I will take him home and make him mine **_

_**So very hot to trot he'll scream once you hit his G spot **_

_**With his pink rose petal lips in ecstasy he will roll his hips" **_Kagura, Sango, Ayame, and Kagome sang

"Damn haven't you wenches done enough" Inuyasha grouched

"Nooooo" the women replied

Sesshoumaru entered "At it again I see little brother"

"Oh great comments from the peanut gallery" Inuyasha shot back "The head nut"

"Fool the only reason I have not killed you is because they hand down better judgment and punishment" Sesshoumaru retorted

"Lord muffy, you bastard"

Sesshoumaru pulled his cell phone out of his pocket "This will be lovely, ah fond memories a cherished thing that money cannot buy" then he snapped a picture

"Miserable striped fluffy bastard" Inuyasha snapped

**Time out, getting fixed**

A few days later yet again new changes were made, yes Inuyasha could not resist he did it again, as Sesshoumaru's employees came in they went about their normal routines. Some headed straight to the bathroom, only there was a change the men's room was now marked by the sign as the women's room, and the women's room was now marked the same way as the men's room thanks to one twisted hanyou switching the signs

Feeling that he'd had enough of relentless tricks pissed off Kouga, Bankotsu, and Miroku without showing the fury they were hiding well beneath a mask of indifference silently walked over to picked up carried Inuyasha to and slid him down into the trash chute. He slid down the trash chute landing in the office trash bin where he was coated in various colors of ink from discarded printer ink cartridges. A surprise came sliding down the chute and he was then his with a huge glass of dark red cherry soda drenching his favorite sky blue suit

"Ohhhhh, why me?" he whined "Can this day get any worse?

Holding the trash chute door open "Wouldn't want you to get thirsty and have nothing to drink" Kouga said

"You needed a serious time out enjoy" Bankotsu teased

"Don't lollygag to long we have work to do" Miroku said

"Bastards you ruined my favorite fucking suit" Inuyasha barked

Jakotsu who had made it down to the basement while they were occupied played along because they had one last thing to do "Oh Yasha how about a little kiss, just one little kiss"

"Stay away from me you freak" Inuyasha replied

"Aw come on it'll be our little secret" Jakotsu teased making kissing sounds while closing in on him

"No way" Inuyasha replied, jumped up and ran back upstairs

Inuyasha was back up on the main floor in no time, he had forgotten one thing his ink and cherry stained clothing "Yasha come back" chasing Jakotsu teased

"Eeeeew" Inuyasha exclaimed

As Miroku and the others had planned Inuyasha continued running, then all the staff got a look at the stained hanyou, the whole first floor burst into laughter, not yet realizing why he merely glared daggers at them. He could not fathom the reason why still he kept running. Sesshoumaru stepped out of his office to see what was the focus of his staffs attention was and got a good look, Inuyasha skidded to a halt in front of him

"A new look for you brother" rather tacky, don't you think?" have you forgotten how to dress tastefully? He ragged

"Asshole I'm wearing a suit" Inuyasha snapped "So get off my damn back"

"Yes and one like I have never seen before, and hope to never have the misfortune to again"

"Damn fluffy needs eye glasses" Inuyasha ragged

"Then I suggest you lower your eyes and take a good look fool"

Inuyasha conceded and did "Assholes" he screamed "Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Miroku, Kouga you bitches

"But we're not your bitches" they replied

"At least have the decency to clean up, and put on some new clothing, this is positively indecent" Sesshoumaru wisecracked"

"But they did it" why don't you repremend them? Inuyasha complained

"Because as is always the case you started it" what have you done this time, fool?" Sesshoumaru scolded "One day I shall have to lock you in a cage"

"And one day I shall have to send you to the dog pound, I'll make sure to lock you in with the rest of the rabid dogs"

Next the last thing Inuyasha remembered before all went black was smiling Sesshoumaru moving at the speed of light, and hitting a pressure point. Two hours he woke up hearing a variety of sounds, he rubbed then slowly opened his eyes only to make a shocking discovery, yes he was in the dog pound. Next he was given all the pet vaccinations, then was bathed, groomed, and sprayed with a doggy perfume. He screamed his protests but was ignored and treated like a mortal dog

"Have you morons ever seen a regular dog walk upright on two legs before?" Inuyasha snapped

"Wow he is a beautiful dog" said the vet

"Yes a golden eyed albino a rare breed" the assistant agreed

"Growl" came out of Inuyasha

"There, there now handsome" the female assistant said, then proceeded to scratch him behind both ears

"Whine, whine" Inuyasha exclaimed, while sitting like a dog tapped one foot

"Aw, like all dogs he loves that" the vet said, though in his real form they continued pretending that they saw him as a regular dog

"Oh damn them they know dogs cannot resist this shit. Ah hell might as well enjoy till I find a way out of here, note to self must kill Sesshoumaru" Inuyasha thought

Ring, ring "Hello?

"Sesshoumaru he's awake and we have done all that you've asked" Satori the vet said

"Wonderful, thank you"

"Anytime, its fun" she replied

Inuyasha began to notice something strange "Hey, why the fuck is my dick numb? Inuyasha mentally griped

Curious he pulled back his pants and looked, around the upper part of his shaft he saw that it was wrapped with a bandage, now full of fear as to what he would find beneath the bandage he carefully removed it. He looked then he gasped and fear filled him there he saw where an incision had been made then stitched, he gulped and plans of Sesshoumaru's murder filled his thoughts

"Oh no it can't be" he thought "Sesshoumaruuuuu" he screamed

"Ah Sessh he has just discovered the other surprise" still on the phone Satori said

"So I heard, I am ready"

Crash, glass shattered when Inuyasha dove through the window and ran like hell "He is on his way now" Satori said

"Thank you I appreciate all that you have done"

"Hehehe, this is the most fun I have had in months" she said

"I shall inform you of the outcome later on" he promised

"Okay, thanks Sessh, until later then"

"Until later" he replied, and both hung up

Twenty minutes later at Taisho Corp "Sesshoumaru I know you're here" Inuyasha who had just burst through the front door screamed

"Ah, the long awaited fun begins" Sesshoumaru said

Hidden by Sesshoumaru in his barrier Bankotsu, Kagome and the others waited, Sesshoumaru's office door flew open slamming into the wall "Neutered, you fucking prick you had me neutered" Inuyasha bellowed

"Yes I did we do not need anymore annoying prank playing puppies like you roaming the earth wreaking havoc in the world. I am doing both demon kind, and humanity a favor" Sesshoumaru replied

"Oh like pups from you will be a blessing. Cold, stick up their asses, snotty, and humorless just like they're bastard father brats running around making peoples lives hell" Inuyasha shot back

"Humorless you say having you as a brother is the most humorous thing in my life"

"You fucker I'd never have done something this rotten to you" Inuyasha yelled

"But then you aren't me, are you?' they say that neutering has a very calming effect on dogs, so it ought to calm you greatly and help quell your constant unruly ways"

"I am going to rip your god's damned throat out for this" Inuyasha screamed then lunged for his brother claws ready for the attack

"If you can keep up with and catch me that is" Sesshoumaru taunted

"Bastard" Inuyasha bit, Sesshoumaru dove out of his open office window and flew off at warp speed "Coward" Inuyasha bellowed after his retreating form, and took off in pursuit

Once they were gone Kagura broke Sesshoumaru's concealing barrier "Oh my god's" Kagura exclaimed

"You know what the best part is the p, poor sucker believes it's real" Bankotsu said

"Aw, my poor Yashie" Jakotsu said "But it is frigging hilarious, hehehe"

"I thought Sessh really had him neutered" Ayame commented

"Nah, even Sesshoumaru is not cruel enough to screw with another mans jewels" Kouga said "He had his vet friend numb Inuyasha's pecker then attach a fake real looking made of latex incision with stitches in it on his pecker, then wrap a bandage around it. His joint is numb so he believes it is real"

"Holy fuck that is a chart topper. A Sesshoumaru masterpiece, n, nothing will ever be able to top it" Laughing Miroku choked out

"Oh we so have to throw Sessh a party as a thank you for this one" Sango exclaimed

"Shit he's probably scarred for life" Bankotsu said

"Good maybe now he'll quit fucking with us, well for a while anyway" Ayame added

"Shit he might start wearing a male chastity belt on it to protect it"

"Kagsy there is no such thing" Jakotsu said

"Yep, but you know Inuyasha he would have one made" Kagome replied

"So true" the rest agreed

As planned the gang threw a big party for Sesshoumaru. When Inuyasha found out that his surgery was fake he stayed on the warpath against Sesshoumaru for three weeks but failed. Sesshoumaru enjoyed his furious brothers numerous failed attempts, because Inuyasha was so occupied with revenge during that time the rest of the staff got a break

**No Humping allowed, a shocker**

Two months had passed since that incident, and Inuyasha, or Devilyasha as the staff had nick named him was back in action again "Ohhhhh, I should have known it wouldn't last" Kagura said

Because of a new anti smoking law in his company Sesshoumaru had signs put up NO Smoking Allowed of course Inuyasha who was back in action replaced them with signs that read No Humping Allowed much to Sesshoumaru's dismay. He even had extra ones that he put over some of the closet doors

"Oh my gods over the closet doors to" Kagura exclaimed

"Who the fuck is going to smoke in the closet I ask you? That's a closed in area" Kouga stated

"That boy knows no boundaries" Ayame said

"When Sesshoumaru gets wind of this there may be a murder in here before the week is out" Ayame voiced

Inuyasha caused a war when he put tea in the coffee pots, and put coffee in the tea pot. And without her morning cup of coffee because someone took it Kagome was like the antichrist. Spitting out the tea in her mouth "Inuyasha you little prick I am going to kill you dead"

"What?

"You know damn good and well what you put tea in the coffee pot" she bit

"Damn wench you get to much caffeine that's why your hallucinating"

"Bullshit" Kagome snapped

"It's a well known fact, look it up it's written in the medical journal and everything"

"To quote you lord full of crap I don't give a hairy rats ass" she replied

"Kiss your mother with that mouth?

"Please I am a freaking quire girl" she retorted

"Aren't they virgins? Inuyasha wisecracked

"Speaking from experience are we? She shot back "Damn no wonder your always pulling stupid pranks, sexual frustration, you can always buy some pussy"

"Kagomeeeee" he whined "Nasty ass wench"

"Inuyasha you've got five minutes I better find coffee in that pot or you die" got that?

"Yeah, sure, fine whatever" he replied, when she came back the coffee was brewing

"Good boy"

Lunchtime Inuyasha was looking for Miroku "Hey where's Miroku, I need to talk to him?'

"Don't know, last time I saw him he was headed down the hall" Kagura answered

Inuyasha continued his search "Damn, where the hell could that lecherous bastard have gotten to?"

He walked down the hall checking offices, then hears "Ahhhh, pant, pant" moans

"Ah hah" Inuyasha thought, It was coming from the closet, Inuyasha eagerly opened the door his eyes immediately widened to the size of saucers

"What the sign over the door said no humping allowed, it didn't say no fucking allowed" Miroku said as stood with Kagome with her held up against the wall, skirt hiked up, and legs around his waist and they were still linked "We're playing doctor"

"What the? Inuyasha started but could not finish due to his shocked state

"Now if you do not mind I was not quite finished yet" Miroku replied and shut the door

"He and Kagome, Kagome and the letch, doing it" still in shock Inuyasha said

When Kagome, and Sesshoumaru returned to the office they were greeted with "Finally came out of the closet?" Kouga teased

"Well the sign that Inuyasha so nicely placed above the door said no humping allowed, but it said nothing about fucking not being allowed" Miroku answered "Would not want to break the rules, now would we?'

"Inuyasha Taisho" Sesshoumaru bellowed, with his claws positioned to attack

"Oh shit he never calls mutt face by his full name unless he intends on serious harm, or death" Kouga said

"Not now fluffy" Inuyasha replied

"Yes now cretin, you replaced all the no smoking allowed signs with no humping allowed signs, I am running a business not a brothel" Sesshoumaru snapped

"Kiss my butt ya mutt"

"I shall give you mutt" Sesshoumaru replied, with one hand he grabbed Inuyasha by the neck, and with the other was about to slice him with his claws

"No Sessh stop" grabbing and holding his arm Kagura said "This is one time his sign switching came back and bit him on the ass"

Sesshoumaru froze "How so? Kagura explained "I see the miko your crush has joined with the monk. Wonderful" did I not tell you to ask her out? Your royal slowness"

"You still and always will have me" Jakotsu teased to bust Inuyasha's balls

"Eeeeew, kill me now" Inuyasha said

"But that would be to merciful" Sesshoumaru joked, and let go

"You snooze you lose dog breath" Kouga ragged

"Wanna go for round seven? Miroku asked Kagome

"R, round seven, you mean the h, human already went six rounds? Inuyasha stammered

"Yes my big battery charger is in turbo mode, my batteries will never run low" Kagome teased

"Ohhhhh, life is so cruel" Inuyasha whined


End file.
